Encounters with an Oracle

When my girlfriend had to go Singapore for work reasons, I found myself going alone on a long planned trip with a big group that I only met for the first time. I was expecting to be isolated and uncomfortable with the group since I know no one of them.

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“Taga saan ang mga Ibanag?”

“Dito sa may Cagayan area.”

“Taga-saan yun mga may buntot?”

Not sure I heard it right, I go, “Alin, yung mga taga-Bontoc? Sa may Mountain Province naman yun.”

He was persistent, wide-eyed and apparently serious, “Hindi, taga saan dito yun mga may buntot?”

“Ahh.. Uh, yung may buntot sa harap pag lalake? Haha. Kilala nga yata sila dito na malalaki.. Haha”. I tried to look polite.

Sheesh. There is no faster way to lose interest in a conversation than this. I am talking to an ignorant bigot here. That is the thing about talking to someone you know nothing about, you can get surprised real bad.

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In Kalinga, our destination, we were waiting for the rest of our group when 6 guys stepped down the bus to join us. I notice that they were all men, glamorously lady-like men. Our guide, the outfit operator comes to us and says, “Their major concern is if they will be accepted here. Let us accept them.”

Apparently, where they last vacationed, some locals where not too happy with their group and have jeered/shooed away/threw stones at them. Hmmm.

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I got to know some of the people from my group during the trip. One of them was a self-proclaimed oracle. His friends say that 9 out of every 10 predictions that he says come true. We decided that on that night, we would get him drunk and ask for his predictions. Little did we know that his predictions would make one guy in our group cry, one couple to start fighting right there and most of us agreeing that his guesses on us were quite accurate and promised to keep tab if his prophesy would indeed reveal themselves in the near future.

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We were drinking that night and were quite smashed when one of the girls I found quite pretty and sexy stood up, hushed us and offered a toss: “To great life, great sex and great love.”

Two other girls concurred: “To great sex, to great sex and to great sex.”

Hehe.. I perspired a bit. This is getting interesting. And hopeful that this would end in one of those unforgettable and totally unexpected endings you would keep telling your friends about and maybe even write about :>

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The self-proclaimed oracle began. He described one of our group as “si Masarap”. And he goes, “Yang dalawang yan (him and his girlfriend), lugi yung babae. Pinakikisamahan lang sya nung lalake. Pag nakakita ng iba yan...”

Whereas, just a few minutes ago, the girl was talking about floral arrangements for their wedding. “Kung matuloy kami.” Cooed the girl. While the guy just smiled. But said nothing.

When we were really drunk, one friend of the guy said that the gay oracle was quite accurate. Score one for his predictions. Note that we didn’t know each other and were just drinking in one big group because we had to while away the night for the trip the next day.

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He described one couple as nearing break-up. The girl and the guy both drunkenly professed their protestations and insisted they were solid. And while they were both doing so, they got into a disagreement and remarkably, began quite a fight that ended with them excusing themselves from the group so they can talk privately.

Quite dramatic. Score two for his predictions.

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And so it went… As for me, the oracle foretold that I was quite secure and happy and would get married soon. Pleased to hear that; and please to be blissfully drunk.